I have been thinking a lot this morning on what it is I want my boys to see in me. One of the things that I really admire about Mark is his faith. Mark's faith in Christ is a part of him like his arm or his head. it's not really an option or something he has to remember to do it is just there. I think a large part of that is because that is how he was raised. Christ was always present in the big decisions his parents made and just the normal everyday life. That kind of faith is such a blessing. I love that Mark knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is a child of God. While I certainly share in his faith and the blessings and joy it is to follow Christ it is not second nature to me. I have to think about it I have to remind myself that God is in control, that I can trust Him, that He is good....I have to work at it. I know another part of that difference in us is our personalities. I for sure am a more anxious person and full of fear where as Mark tends to be positive and trust it will work out. But if there is anything I can do to help my children have the same kind of confidence and hope in Christ that Mark has I want to do it. I want them to just know that God is a very present help in a time of need that He is a shelter. That worshiping Him and praying is not just paying lip service. Jesus is not a feel good bedtime story we tell our children He is the center, the point, the giver of life. He is mighty and reigns on high and that He knows and loves them...the individual them!

I was talking with my Dad earlier this month about his parents faith. Mommo (Dad's mother), as I knew her, was full of compassion and charity, love and dignity. She left a mark on me. I never knew Poppo, Dad's father. Dad was saying that his father was a fan of Frederick Buechner (who Kim and Dad also enjoy) and that his father revered God and was almost offended by the humanity that God choose to take on in becoming Christ. Offended isn't really the best choice of word but I can not think of the appropriate word. I found it an interesting conversation and it got me thinking because I do believe people have become too comfortable with Jesus and lost respect for the authority of God. We talk so much about Jesus loving us and being our friend and we just want everyone to always feel good that it seems some people get too comfortable with God and forget he is also Lord, that he is mighty and powerful and full of justice. I wonder if that is what Poppo found distasteful. While Christ is our brother we should not assume we are his equal and get too comfortable assuming we are more knowledgeable then God or his word.

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father" Philipians 2

I don't know, I don't claim to have it all figured out. But these are my thoughts today and I do know that God is real and I have been saved by grace and I want my children to live in and share that grace too.

Sorry I have not blogged in so long! Life is still feeling a bit stressful and I didn't want to look like a big complainer! You know...the whole if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all rule. =)

Today was a nice day for me and the boys because my BFF Crystal came over and hung out and brought Madison Jane and Frank Robert to play with Malachy. Malachy was so happy he LOVES the Kunzes. In his heart they are his brothers and sisters too. Which is special and awesome and I'm thankful.

I have not taken many pictures lately because I'm not loving my camera. BUT I do love Crystal's camera and here are some photos she took of my gorgeous boys and posted on facebook.

I have definitely had spring fever lately. Here are the things I'm looking forward to doing this summer.

1. A trip to Iowa...of course. Iowa has become my home away from home and I really miss and look forward to seeing my family there. I also want to go back to the living history farms!

2. For my 30th birthday in August me and Crystal (and anyone who wants to join us) are going to party...like 30 year old Mamas... and go to a scrapbooking B&B in Wisconsin. Oh yeah baby!

3. When I get my little Owen pants weened (hopefully in early summer) Mark and I are going away for a long over due romantic weekend! (which will include sleeping in and will NOT include changing diapers!)

4. If Mom feels better we are hoping to go to Georgia and visit family. We will take Owen pants but leave Mal with his other family, the Kunzes. =)

5. Trips to Mortons Arboretum, Faybian Park, Wild West Town and the Zoo!

Not sure if I can fit all that in but I'm willing to give it a try! Yee Haw!

I made a post, but then I had to erase it. I'm not sure what to say anyways. I'm tired and I'm doing bad and life is hard today. Maybe I will feel better tomorrow.

Too much SNOW!

There has been way too much snow lately. Thankfully the last time it snowed my awesome brother (Malachy calls him the guy who says dragons)was in town and shoveled so Mark (or I) wouldn't have too! The guy who says dragons got a little "help" from Malachy too! =)

Nothing much to report. Mark has been great about working with our financial advisor and trying to figure things out. I'm very greatful for him. Were both a little tired and grumpy lately but still really appreciative of all we have. Our boys are very exhausting but we know this is a special time and we are doing our best to value this time because we know it goes by in a blink of an eye. Owen is alredy crawling and trying to say words! And Mal is asking me everyday if it's time to go to Kintergarden yet. So cute, neither of us can wait. Haha!

Im not a big fan of winter but I do enjoy it up until Christmas though. Mark and I have been making the most of every moment we get together and it has been fun! This weekend Mal and Mark played in the snow a ton and even built a snowman. Mal was super happy! We also went down town Elgin to see the lights it was a bit wet and chilly but felt like an adventure. Owen was pretty suprised by the cold, poor little guy! We also got to watch 2 movies as a family! Prince Caspian and Horton hears a Who! Fun! When I was at Moms house Friady night Mark and Mal watched the Gremlins! Still not sure if that was a good idea but Mark seemed to think so. =) Mal did like it, he loves scary movies. And the boys saw Santa! Tomorrow the boys and I are going to bake cookies at Kims with Mom!

We are working hard on our finances. Mark has been working with a woman the church got us in touch with and she has been a great help as far as getting a plan together. There is something comforting knowing that you have someone to give you advice and hold you accountable. It really helps and we feel blessed that she is willing to take the time to serve us in this way.

We are looking forward to going back to Iowa on the 26th. Iowa has become my second home and I really enjoy being there and seeing the family. I also love how much it makes Mark happy.

I think thats it for now. I have coffee brain so its hard to post! Haha!

Owen Pants

Owen is nearly 6 months old already! Here are some pics of his latest developments!

Owen is trying very hard to crawl! I think we will be in the next 2 weeks. (but I could be wrong) He gets up on his hands and kness and can scoot forward and backwards.

He has started doing this funny tounge curl thing ALL the time!

The camera was dirty here. =) Sorry! This was his first rice cereal experience. He didn't like it to much but was curious enough to give it a try!

Here Owen is with his Uncle Jason and Uncle Noah. Jason, Noah, and Joey took Mal to see Bolt Saturday. Owen stayed with me but I was sure to get a picture. =)

Here little Owen is sitting! What a big boy. Time flys. =)

Compassion

Hmmmm....Life is so bazar. I have been thinking a lot about a quote from Joyce Meyers that Kim used to have up on the fridge. It said," you can be pitiful or you can be powerful but you can't be both." I keep trying to be both. The scared girl inside me wants to be pitiful and have Mark, friends, family, God...anyone really... save the day so I can feel rescued, pursued, and loved. But the Mom in me wants to be powerful so I can protect my children, so they feel safe and loved. I want to be a strong example to them and others. And I have a deep desire to help others.

God has been drawing my attention again and again to the little boy I support through Compassion International. We have supported him for 4 years now. His name is Samuel and he has several siblings. He is 9 and is in 3rd grade. His father has died and his mother works as an assistant Mason. He lives in Dire Dawa in Ethiopia. Most adults there earn only $10 a month! Where he lives 50% of people are Muslim and about 40% are dif. variations of Christian. 50% of men can read and only 35% if women. Most families live in houses with dirt floors and tin roofs. Only 11% of the rural population has decent drinking water. 23% of the population lives below $1 a day. 5 years agon 1 and a half million people there were infected with Aids.

Lately when things are hard I can not help but think of Samuels mother. I wonder how challenging life is for her. Mark and I are having a hard time with money for sure but when I see how little she makes and how if I try to be more disiplined the little I have could honestly change her familys life. I think how could I not do that!? How can I not help Samuels mother? If that were me I would want someone to say," I see you. I care about your hardships. I care about your children! I want to help you." I have been writing Samuel and I tell him to let his Mother know I pray for her. And the past 2 months I have been able to send their family additional support outside of my sponsorship. With the additional support (as little as $10 extra) it can make a huge difference. I hope it dosen't sound like I'm saying this to pat myself on the back because I don't mean that. The thing of it is...this is what makes me feel powerful. It gives me some encouragement to be a better Mom to the kids I have. It brings me joy and that makes me stronger.

We were ready!

The group of us Trick Or Treating! Mark took the pic and Corey was hiding! Grrr!

Madison Jane! My favorite of the Halloween pictures!

Frank helping Malachy

Malachy and Owen looking pretty serious!
Mark and Malachy playing while we get ready to go
All the Kiddos!

We had a great time trick or treating with the Kunzes, some Millers, and a Cooper. I think they had fun too...but I did see Crystal making different plans for next year...hmmmm. Mark's theory is I take too many pictures and annoy everyone! ;) It was the most beautiful day. We got so lucky. Then we went to Dennys for dinner and headed over to see my parents! Perfect. I couldn't have had a better day. AND Mark bought me a Pumpkin Spice Latte and a piece of Pumpkin Pie! Crazy good!

I think we are ready for Halloween Friday!

Steph wants to be Love

1 Corinthians 13:1-8a and 13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love.

I made bold the ones I'm working on. It's a journey that's for sure! It is a comfort to know that God loves me this way!

Poor little Owen

Little Owen burnt his hand yesterday! I was at Crystals and I was talking to her while she did the dishes. I had Owen on my hip and was resting his weight on the counter. We were talking about the yummy dinner she was making in her crock pot that I was standing next too. As it occurred to me that crock pots are hot and I should move Owen he flung his hand out and hit the crock pot. Corey saw it and says he touched it briefly but the damage was done. =( He cried, SCREAMED, for a very long time. 3 of his fingers turned bright red and had huge blisters! I took him to the doctor because when I called the nurse she said I had to take him in and get some antibiotics. Then after the 20 min drive, $25 co-pay, and 1 hour wait the doctor says I don't need a prescription. Just try not to let the blisters pop and keep it clean. Of course last night Owen popped the blisters. Luckily it didn't seem to hurt him but now I have the task of keeping it ubber clean so he doesn't get an infection. Wish me luck!

The doctor recommended band-aides. Crystal and I tried that only to have Owen tear them off with his teeth. So we decided that wasn't such a bright idea. So now I'm cleaning it and putting on neosporin 3 times a day with a mitten over it. Here's hoping that does the trick!

Hello, Hello, Lovely, Lovely, Smiles, Smiles...

My title was inspired by my Mommo...Alice...she still makes me smile! I remember her little hand written notes she would send. They always included smiles and often told me that I had intelligent eyes and that she had told my father that when I was a little baby and it's still true... AND I brought sunshine! I'm happy now just thinking about her! Yay for Mommo who is in heaven with Poppo the love her life. Can't wait to met the man who captured Mommos heart because she was something else...he must have been special.

Anyways...I didn't start to write this post thinking about Mommo but she popped up into my thoughts leaving my morning a little brighter then it was...thanks Mommo!

Soooo....this new blog template is the handywork of Crystal! She also updated the link to Val's blog! Thanks Crystal!

Things are going ok here. Still getting dizzy spells fairly often....daily! Doctor says I have Vertigo. It might be from my allergies enflaming all things including the tubes in my ears making me dizzy. So I'm taking more allergie and sinus medicine. Mom's having a rough patch with her health too! Been praying for her.

Owen gets cuter with evey passing minute! I adore him. He's such a gemini and reminds me of Noah's personality. When he's in a good mood he's the funnest one in the room and you can't get enough of him and when he's in a bad mood...he's in a BAD mood! Both moods come on easily and switch often. =) Love him to pieces!

Malachy is exhausting! He is full of life and energy and curiosity! He has a wicked sense of humor which I blame poppo for in both the nuture and nature catagories! I'm trying to learn how to let him be himself and celebrate his energy while keeping him under control so I don't go nuts....ahhhh...parenting! He starts dance class with Madison thursday and I'm thankful he will have an outlet for all that energy!

Mark's still working hard. The Chapel job is over but he has some other part time work he is picking up already. It's one of those things that is our blessing and our curse. He's fighting off a cold right now, has a bum knee from a bball injury, and had a filling fall out! Poor Mark!

It was Dad's bday this weekend but we didn't celebrate yet. I was in a bad mood too. Poor Daddy! We will celebrate when we get together with Noah and Lauren in a few weeks.

Haha I just noticed that I have ended nearly every sentence with ! That's so me! Well anyhoo...theres my update!

Update and some pictures too!

Hola! I thought I should update because I haven't in a while. Lets see...
Owen is doing really well and is already over 3 months old! He's so handsome and such a delight. I'm overwhelmed with love for him all the time and it makes me so happy. Of course Malachy continues to be the joy of my life as well and is always amusing me and exhausting me. I feel so blessed to have this time with them and never want it to end.

Mark and I are still struggling financialy. Mark continues to work 7 days a week and it is tring on us. I try and have hope knowing that this is only a season in our lives and will pass. However lately I have had a hard time believing it will pass. I'm trying to remain hopeful. =) Mark continues to be an amazing husband and I'm so thankful for him! We had an amazing time in Iowa and really enjoyed seeing the family there! Mark hopes to go back for his 30th birthday in November. I'm all for it if we can come up with the $270 in gas it takes to get there and back! I also have to start thinking about a birthday party for my little Malachy! I love birthday parties. =)

Moms had a hard month and I feel really sad for her. The worst of course was that Uncle Si died. Somewhat unepectantly and that was hard. Uncle Si was the brother that "found" Mom and I know that was very special for her. Growing up as an orphan it was important to her to have family that wanted her and Si did! He loved Mom alot and carried her picture in his wallet all those years till he found her. I will never forget the joy it brought Mom and how fun it was when they all came from Florida to stay with us for a week. It was one of the happiest times in our family for sure! I remember we stayed up late while Mom and Si played guitar and Si told us ghost stories! Sally made us yummy dinners and they taught us how to really be prepared for storms!

Si's passing came right after Kim had a miscarriage which was pretty devastating for all of us. It was a scary day and very emotional. Poor Kim was heartbroken and we were heartbroken for her and for ourselves because we of course were all looking forward to meeting this little baby. Kim is still grieving but is doing well. She is so brave and I admire her so much.

Mom made the decision to postpone her classes in order to be more available during this time. I know that was a disapointment for her. But it is another testament of her love for all of us and her desire to put family first. I know we are all greatful for her love and care and our looking forward to her getting her classes started next semister!

Dad seems to be doing well but his job seems tedious, long, and unpleasent. I'm hoping it ends soon because I barely see him and when I do he looks exhausted! I know he was pleased Notre Dame won this past week though!

Marks Mom is in Russia again so that is exciting! We only got to see her 1 day when we went to Iowa but it was a fun day! And we are happy that she still has the oppourtunity to serve Jesus and the Russian people because we know it brings her much joy and fullfillment! =)

I guess that is it...

Summer Photos!

Mark has been keeping busy with work and me with the boys. But we have managed to squeeze in a few summer memories together! We hope to make a few more in Iowa pretty soon here! Until then here are some pictures...

A fun day at Mortons.

Some yummy diners at the parents

And of course Wild West Town