really sad

Sometimes I wander around from blog to blog of friend's half acquaintences I might have seen in the halls of Willow once. Mostly like the kids who were in Impact when I was a leader and the people who worked with Noah. (They are all connected on each other's blogs.) Most of these people fall in the age range of about 19-24. It just breaks my heart to read their blogs. I know that is a strange age because I was there not too long ago....

You have finaly won independence from your parents but you don't know what to do with it now that you have it. You end up making a lot of painful mistakes but are often too proud to learn from them at first. You wonder if the life you are living was your choice or came out of some effort to fit in, conform, be good.... You think you are more wise than you are. You think you are an adult and you can handle anything. Although you aren't aware of it ( or won't admit it), you think everything is about you. Everything is bigger in your head then it is in reality. You don't know who you are or who you want to be and you are scared.

A lot of these kids are in some sort of self obsessed depression and they are hurting themselves and each other. I'm not saying their problems aren't real...they are!! But they are magnified by their inability to offer themselves and each other grace. They all feel judged - whether they have held on to their faith or lost it they are feeling judged and angry. It's really depressing.

I'm NOT at all saying ALL people in that age range fall into the catagorey I am describing - I DO NOT believe that. I know some incredibly mature, amazing people in that age range and some incredibly immature people much older than that! I have just come accross an alarming number of people in the blogging community that do fall into that catagorey and my heart breaks for them!