Wednesday, February 21, 2007's been a blah sort of day

Im feeling icky today. It seems like my life is a bit out of control. Over 2 months ago when we decided Malachy would start "day Care" on Jan 1st there was a plan as to how things would go...that didn't happen. When we got married I had a plan on when we would buy a house...that didn't happen. About a year ago I made a plans to try and get my licsense...that didn't happen. Over 8 months ago when we decided it was time to have another baby there was a plan as to when to start trying...that didn't happen. A few weeks ago when we did our taxes there was a plan as to how we would use our tax return...that didn't happen.

There are plans of things I need fixed...My teeth! The flooding in the basement. The leaking faucet in the kitchen and bathroom! The 4 cats! The dogs shot's. Marks Malibu. The splintering deck. The kitchen which is missing half it's walpaper now and has no shades on the lights. The carpet we spent thousands of dollars on less then 2 years ago and now smells like cat and dog pee! I'm overwhelmed with things that need fixing and it seems like the list is just growing.

I just feel overwhelmed. I told Mark in the car this morning I feel like there is all this pressure building inside of me and I'm going to explode soon and it's actually really scary. It's a bad time for me to be in need of some encouragement because everyone seems to have their own problems and mine seem petty and inconvienent. Which I'm sure they are. I know my problems pale in comparisson to the rest of the worlds. And I do mean that litteraly not sarcasticly. But they are still weighing me down.


Crystal said...

I'll send you an e-mail...

OK, go check your e-mail.


Valerie Sue said...

Hi Steph,
Sorry to hear about all of your overwhelming problems. I have a long list of my own overwhelming problems too. I was wondering how mom is doing? Jason called me on Monday to say that the surgery went well. Is she still doing good? Hang in there life's not always fun. But we all have our own problems.

Crystal said...

Love you.

your bad friend

Andy said...


Sorry you're feeling sad. or disappointed. I'm especially sorry about the cats, because I remember how desperate the cats made Mommy feel sometimes.

You're a wonderful person. Loving and generous and responsible. I hope you can appreciate, even in dark moments, how you are blessed with a lovely family and nice home and a good job.

The things that are wrong because of Kimmy's cats will get better. The things you don't like about the house can be fixed.

The greatest risk is feeling bad becuase of feeling insecure, and then looking for problems to blame those bad feelings on. I always think you got the depresssion gene from me, but that description sounds a little bit like Mommy, too.

Don't let the cats or the wallpaper in the kitchen or the leaky basement deprive you of the happiness you should be feeling with Mark, and Mally, (and Kimmy), or with your very special job at your very special church. or with a big family and good friends who love you.

I also know that when people feel bad they need sympathy more than instruction. I am really truly sorry that you're ever sad.

Crystal said...

Hi Steph, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me the other night. BUT I'm so glad we were able to go out and talk about all the hard stuff.

If you want I can come over and help you with the wall paper??? And when you get the paint I'll be over to help you paint too. I've become pretty professional at it all.

I'm sorry about the cats too that's a hard one. I know that when Emily and Frank go away and I'm left to take care of them it feels like an overwhelming and annoying task to keep feeding them and changing the litter is the worst!

Your house NEVER smells like pee to me when I come over though just so you know. And you have a REALLY super cute house Steph!!!! We just need to get some paint on the walls and a couple of new cute things to make it feel more personal and more homey for you.

We can make new cushion covers for your super cute BOOTH!!! LUCKY! I want a booth! I think that light from your mom will look amazing in the kitchen once it is fixed. And you already have those amazing curtains and accessories. Then we just need to get some new cabinet pulls and a swanky new faucet and that's it! I know funds are tight right now but just keep an eye out for cute things here and there to collect (like I do). Mix and match baby, mix and match!

OK, gotta go, I can't wait to hang out tonight!!

OH what color are you going to paint the kitch btw???