Most people won't read this because it is sooo long, which is probably good becuase it's not Steph at her best it's Steph fed up!
I feel really frustrated! There are many things adding to my frustration...lack of sleep, depression, not enough big macs but I think the biggest thing freaking me out right now is the judgemental nature of people regarding my parenting! I just want to scream back off! This past week alone I have been told that I'm afraid of my own child, I don't spend enough time with my own child, I should apply to be on Super Nanny, Mothers were intended to stay at home and not work, I'm not feeding him right, putting him to bed right, I'm spoiling him...you name it...I have done it. Apparently I'm the WORST mother in the universe!! And the worst part is...it's not strangers saying this to me...it's my family, friends, and co-workers..all of you who know me best...so it must be true.
I was watching Desperate Housewives last night (more evidence of my flawed character I'm sure) and I could totally relate to Lynette. She was trying to get Day Care started at the office so she could see her children more. The problem was they needed 15 children to be enrolled. The boss's wife was a stay at home mom but if she would bring her child in occasionaly it would be enough for them to get the day care. Lynette called this woman to ask her if she woud bring her child in to the day care. The women responded with an obscene amount of judgement and ridicule towards Lynette for working. She even said to Lynette I don't know why women bother having children if they are going to work. In which Lynette responded;"I'm a good mother." and the woman said;" you see that's the difference between you and I ...I want to be a great mother." I could have screamed because that is sooo real. That is totally how people treat you! Even if they don't say it that boldly they imply it. I have heard several times from Stay at Home mothers something like;" I would rather live in a card board box with my children then get a job. Mom's who work do so to support a lifestyle they choose." Give me a freaking break! For one thing you would NOT want your children living in poverty if you had the power to change it, so that is just insulting. And we are not just talking about the lifestyle of an occasional dinner out and clothe from Old Navy instead of the thrift store, we are talking about health insurance, dance or music lessons, proper meals, the list goes on. So please, if your husband is making more then 40k and you can afford to stay at home,while owning a home, 2 cars, nice clothe and so on do not presume to judge the rest of us who need to work for our ever so lush lifestyles we are "choosing".
People are way to judgemental and they often excuse theur judgement as some holy calling or righteousness. Especially in the Christian community. I remember being at Mark's fathers funeral and this man from their home church. (who I have never met before) Starts asking me what my plans are for Malachy's education. (I was only like 6 months pregnant!) Then he goes on to tell me the only correct way to do it is to home school Malachy and be home with him and he doesn't understand these women who...blah blah blah...I was like I don't even know you (or my son at this point) so how in the world can we know what's best for him yet!? I remember last year watching Dr. Phil and it was stay at home moms and working moms just tearing eachother apart and I couldn't believe it!
I always hear the TRUE statement: being a stay at home mom is like having 2 full time jobs with no days off...but let's remember working Moms STILL come home to their children! It's not like I come home and put my feet up. There are diapers to change, dinners to make, baths to give, tears to wipe the whole spectrum and we don't get vacation days from our children either. We also have 2 full time jobs. It's not a competition why can't we all just help eachother out!?!
I'm aware of my failings as a parent. My child won't listen to me, he hits me, he doesn't sleep...the list goes on. He does behave better for Kim and he is only a child. So yes, I'm aware that his behavior is a direct result of my failure to train him better and NOT beause he is a bad child. However I must say I do try. I try to be consistent. I try to discipline him and I do love him very much. So please cut me some slack it's hard enough without feeling like the whole world is against me.
DISCLAIMER: This "rant" is in NO way directed at my best friend in the whole world Crystal, she is an amazing Mom who I respect greatly and has been an encouragement and inspiration to me. Also this "rant" is not directed at Jami. Although I'm aware some of the things I'm adressing are opinions she holds and recently wrote about in her blog. Jami is another great Mom and her recent blogginig isn't what got me upset. I have been hearing stuff from people all week and I'm frustrated, upset, tierd and looking for a place to vent. I respect that most Moms are just doing what they think is best for their children.