Mothers Day!

I have always loved Malachy and being a mother. But lately it has been more fun then I ever anticipated! He is so precious and amazing to me I find so much joy in him. Everyday I can't wait to get home from work to see him. It breaks my heart when I have to leave him. When ever I'm without him I 'm seeing things he would enjoy and wishing he were with me! He's amazing and I love him!!

Beautiful

Kim found this blog by a guy named Trevor. I don't know how to describe the blog other then a celebration of little but powerful moments in life. Everything he writes and paints makes me cry wether it is an encounter with an orphan in Africa or sitting across from an old man in a diner. This man has a gift for pulling the meaningful out of moments most of us fail to recognize.

happy day

My Mama just bought me a Latte and I'm feeling good 'n' high on caffeine! Good times! After I get some more work done Kim and I are going to watch some eppisodes of The Office that I missed off I-tunes! See ya!

Nothing much to say I guess...just the same as all the rest

So I haven't updated lately because there hasn't been much to say and I know people are sick of all my whining! I did some laundry today...A small victory! I have been reading the DaVini Code and that has been interesting and annoying at the same time. Malachy has been cute and challenging. He has become extremely will-full lately but he's also more independent which is fun too! We went to Lord's Park today and he really liked the Buffalo. We also went to The Little Gym this morning which Malachy loves! I think we are going to take a break from it during the summer to save some cash! Malachy has really enjoyed it and learned a lot there it was well worth the money and hopefully come the fall we will be able to pick it up again. It has helped Malachy learn to play with others, follow direction, build motor skills nad just have fun!

Mark and I are hardcore broke which puts both of us in a bad mood. Not that it's a super big deal or anything but I was hoping to do something fun for Mothers Day and now I know there isn't even money for a simple card. Maybe Mark will help Malachy make one for me and we can have a picnic at the park, that would be nice too. Those are the memories that you look back on when your old and like the best anyways.

This whole owning a house thing is challenging and scary! The dryer has been charring our clothes! The basement is leaking and seems to have some mold growth. The shingles on the roof our peeling. Our water heater and furnace our outliving their life expectantly and we have no idea how to take care of the yard and the peeling deck! I'm sure it will be one of those things that makes us stronger and were thankful for in the future it's just scary now!

Also... No one has heard form Noah in like a week! I think that adds to everyone's stress level. I hope he updates his blog soon! We are all thinking about him. I avoid "war"news but I did hear about the Helicopter Crash that killed 10 men from his base, Ft. Drum. That is always heart breaking! I can't imagine what those families are going through they are in my prayers. The word on the street is Noah may come home for 2 weeks in August! I pray that all works out for both Noah and Lauren! (and of course all of us Traynors who would love to give Noah a big hug!) Noah if you happen to see this...update your darn blog and call your wife! I know things are out of his control as far as having time to call people and get on the internet goes. He's at the mercy of the military powers that be. I just hope we hear from him soon.

We are trying to plan a summer vacation to the beach in MI...I hope it works out. Mom, Dad, Kim, Mark, Malachy and I are looking at renting a 3 bedroom "cottage" near the beach this summer. I know that we all deserve a fun stressfree break! We have such good memories from our childhood at lake Michigan. Dad went there as a child too so it feels like a family tradition and it would be special to take Malachy there and make it a 3 generation tradition! Hopefully Mark and I will get things on track with the $$'s before they are all booked up! =)

I watched the Bird Flu movie on ABC tonight...that was a mistake. Anyone who knows me know I struggle with anxiety. One of the reasons I have been hesitating on having baby # 2 is I'm scared we will get the Bird Flu. I'm trying to convince myself that I can't live my life on what ifs! Gilmore Girls was pretty depressing too! Sheeshhh! Ok I will end on a good note...We get a free lunch at work tomorrow so that's exciting...you can't beat free food to make me happy! =)

shopping

So, I have been feeling a little down lately about many things...One of them being my appearance. I don't like to talk about this because I know that there are people who REALLY struggle with low self esteem when it comes to their "image" and for the most part I'm not one of them. So I never want to over dramitize my feelings on the issue or belittle someone who struggles with this more then I do.

However it is growing problem. I have consistently gained weight since my gullbladder surgery. Being a mom of a young child cuts money for hair and makeup as well as time for the basic things like a shower! I work with the cutest people ever which makes me feel worse. I don't want people to think I don't care about myself or to think that I'm oblivious to the fact that I go to work everyday looking like I just rolled out of bed and put on whatever I could find off the floor...I'm painfully aware of the way I look...I just don't have the energy to change it!

In an effort to feel better Mark said I could get some clothes from Old Navy (we are broke but I have an Old Navy credit card that I leave at home in a filing cabinet because when it comes to credit cards I can not be trusted!) If you know Mark you know that this is a big deal for him to let me buy clothes on a credit card! I'm very thankful. So Mom and Kim took me there today and we all had high hopes. Oh my goodness...I think I was in denial about home much weight I had actually gained! At first I tried on some fitted shirts that were long enough to cover my tummy but they were to snug and only highlighted the tummy. So I tried on a bunch of clothes that were lose and flowy in an effort to hide the huge tummy. Unfortunately they just made me look bigger...like 9 months pregnant bigger! It was disappointing to say the least. I ended up finding some plain t-shirts and capris that were more comfy then cute but at least I will have clothes to wear this summer that fit. I hope this experience will motivate me to work out and get things under control..for my health as much as my appearance.

So anyways that is my story. In my head it was more interesting and entertaining then it turned out. Too bad I don't have any pictures of me in the moo-moos now that was entertaining! =)

P.S. it was fun going shopping with Mom and Kim and I do like the stuff I ended up with. Anyways...it's more practical for me to wear comfy clothes when I'm chasing after Malachy before and after work!

remember when he looked like this?

I'm sad

Not like an overpowering desperate come to my rescue kind of sad more like a lingering melancholy laying in bed wishing things were better kind of sad

(I don't really have any pictures of me being sad...this was the closest I could find this was taken in the summer of 97 at some worship thing...I was sad )

We went downtown to the Art Institute today! Mostly we went for Kim because as you all know she is an artist. I'm sure Kim enjoyed it the most because she has a higher appreciation and understanding of art. However, Mark, Malachy, and I had a good time too! Malachy behaved better then any of us expected and that was a pleasant surprise. I enjoyed having a new appreciation for the modern American Art. I don't think I had ever played much attention to those galleries before because I spent all my time in the old European and Impressionist art galleries. Monet is ALWAYS fun but it was nice to see something different! It was also fun to see some of the original pieces I had seen in Kim's magazines and books.

After the Art Institute we walked through Millennium Park on the way back to the car. It was a little cold today so we just saw the bean and the fountain. The "bean" was more impressive in person then I had expected it to be. I got some pictures but they really don't do justice to the bazarness of this piece of Art. We were glad to finaly get to see the park. It was good to give Malachy a chance to run around after having him straped in his stroller for several hours! He LOVED chasing pigeons around and squawking after them.

On our way out of the city we visited Emily at Loyola and she seemed to be doing well! =) She was playing a game with her Mama Sue so she didn't talk to us much but we were glad to see her feeling better! Hopefully she will come home tomorrow night!

Reflection of Malachy and Mark exploring the "bean"

Kim and Malachy outside the Art Institute. Malachy loves Lions and loves saying,"ROAR"!

Steph and Mark at Millenium part.

The Bean : Does this picture remind anyone else of Flight of the Navigator?

Kim and Steph in matching jackets

Emily Update

(This is an E-mail I sent to my Promiseland Friends, I though you all would like to know)

Emily is having her second surgery this Monday at Loyola in Maywood. They need to be there at 5:30 am. for prep stuff. They don't know what time the surgery is to begin but it is expected to be around 5 hours long. As you can imagine sitting in the waiting room while your little girl is in surgery is extremely stressful and scary. Please pray for Crystal and Scott to have peace during the day as well as for Emily to have continued courage and that the surgery would be a success!

Crystal has been great about updating her blog with Info when she has it and I know she is planning on posting about the surgery. If you want to check it out you can click this link https://mail.willowcreek.org/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=http://www.crystalstarrs.blogspot.com/

As far as I understand it.... the reason the 2nd surgery is necessary is to help the Radio Active Iodine treatments be more successful. The Thyroid cells absorb the Radio Active Iodine which kills the cancer and that is why this cancer is so treatable. Emily has malignant tumors on the left side and cancerous lymph nodes on the right. These are made up of Thyroid cells so if they don't remove these with surgery they will absorb all the iodine and it will not get to all the smaller cells (like the ones in her lungs). Seeing as this surgery is so close to the previous one and Emily's little neck is still recovering the doctors may not be able to get to the left side in this surgery. The way I understand it is that they will be able to figure that out more once they start the surgery and can see how far her healing has progressed on the left side. Therefore, our prayer is that the Dr's will be able to get ALL the tumors/lymph nodes out in this surgery and not have to have a third surgery! That way Emily will be able to progress with her Iodine treatments and get on the road to recovery sooner!

This is the situation to the best of my non-medical brains understanding. =)

Thanks for all your continued prayers and support!

Ok so all I do is post pictures of my Kid...but...he's the best thing I got going for me!

Squishing your head!

Malachy loves to drive Kimmy's car!

Cool Aunt Lauren got Malachy a Sandbox! He's so lucky to have such a fun Aunt!

When did my Kid get so old!?

HAPPY EASTER NOAH!

Noah stoped by my blog earlier today...here's hoping he comes back! WE love you Noah you were with us all in thoughts and prayer today! Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog it made my day...also yesterday I got your thankyou in the mail from the TFT Anti-Monkey Butt stuff I sent last month. That was fun =) Happy Easter!

Sad news

Dog Barney had to go back to the Anti-Cruelty Society. Barney had displayed some aggression from the moment we brought him home. This aggression escalated yesterday when Kim and Malachy were trying to eat some chicken nuggets and Barney jumped on the kitchen table and stole them from Malachy's hand! He would not obey Kim's command to get down or stop. He then frightened Malachy and Kim by getting down very low in an attack position and bearing his teeth while growling at them. Barney had bitten all of us at least once at this point (never breaking the skin but hard enough that we knew he could if he wanted too). Luckily Barney started rolling on the ground and growling so Kim managed to sneak her and Malachy out of the room and called my Dad for reinforcement.

While we ALL wanted to give Barney a chance (especially Kim who is strong pet lover) we thought it would be unwise to keep an aggressive dog around our baby and unfair to leave Kim alone with Malachy and the dog when she didn't feel safe. Mark is feeling particularly sad about the loss today. Also, Malachy has gone into the bedroom where Barneys bed was and says "doggy?" it breaks my heart. I had left a message for the behavior specialist at the A.C.S. and I had to hang up before breaking into tears. We are all so disappointed and which Barney the best. I hope sometime in the near future we will be able to find a dog that better suits our family. We are thinking a smaller dog like a min. schnauzer or schipperke. Also please pray that the Anti-Cruelty society would find a home better suited for Barney!

Big news!

Malachy went poo poo in the potty (and pee pee too!) We had bought him a little potty seat about a week ago and let him sit on it a couple times, which he REALLY enjoyed. Today while he was hanging with Ma-me (Kimmy) she noticed him making the poo poo face so she asked him "potty?" and he replied "potty!" so off they went to the potty chair (which sits in the toilet seat) and Malachy made a little poo poo and pee pee! Holy Cow! Kim tried to get him to flush the toilet but he was too distracted by wanting to fish his poo poo out of the toilet. He must have been very proud and impressed with himself. She managed to re-direct his attention by getting him excited about hand washing. I don't want to get too excited because I know that it is VERY rare for a child to be potty trained at 18 months but none the less it's a very exciting day and I must admitt I'm disapointed to have missed it!

Our new doggy, Barney!

We got Malachy a dog! His name is Barney and he is a 10 month old beagle! We found Barney at the Anti-Cruelty Society down town. Barney was only $55 compared to the $200-$300 for dogs at the shelters around here! Unfortunately Barney is sick! We broght him home last night and he ate a few dog treats but wouldn't eat any of his food! Since then he still hasn't eaten food and has stoped taking the treats as well! He has also thrown up 5 times! All of which looked like he had eaten a stuffed animal. (fabric and polyester stuffing!) He didn't get one at our house but maybe he did at the shelter!? So the vet from the A.C.S. has asked me to bring him in tomorrow! Lauren has graciously agreed to take us down there. I hope it is nothing too serious.

The dog has been alittle agressive towards Malachy. He seems to be adjusting better today but we have to keep a close eye on them! He's a pretty good dog. He goes in his kennel with out crying and does not bark much at all. He loves affection and to play...he has already torn up his new toy! He is a bit of a ankle biter so we will have to work on that! =)

Please pray for Barneys health as we go to the vet tomorrow! oohhh and for Barney and the cats to adjust to sharing the house!

Barney in his old home.

Barney leaving the A.C.S.

Barney feeling sick, hungry, and tired!

Barney on his new bed in my room!

Our day at the Zoo!

We went to the Lincoln Park Zoo on Monday! It was a beautiful day and tons of fun! Malachy loved it! He really enjoyed the petting zoo part and the ducks! We loved being outside on such a beautiful 70 degrees day!

Check out our fun Pics! You notice there are always more of Mark because I'm the one always taking the pictures!

Our new pretty bathroom!

Mark's Mom got us this picture for our anniversary last year. I think it goes great with the colors in the bathroom now! I found the shelf at target on sale for $5 and I also got the candles on clearance!

These are my favorite curtains. It's a new line at Target. I don't know if you can tell but there is a under layer of green pok-a-dots that match the towels.

Kim and I found this at Home Goods for $19. At first I was afraid there was too much Green but now I REALLY like it! I also found the towels at Home Goods for $5 each!

Here is the look put together!

I want to get a new lighting fixture eventually but for now I'm REALLY happy and glad we got another room done!

Mark and I were (are) both sick today with upset tummies. Please pray that we feel better soon. We had some experiences that would have been embarrassing had we not been at home and had changes of clothes and toilets near by. =) Other then that Kim and I worked on the bathroom today. She had taken down the wallpaper while we were in Iowa but it still needed to be spackeled and painted. We painted it today only to realize that not only did the color look awful in the bathroom (it turned out to be more of a dirty turquoise then a fresh green) but also it was a satin finish which showed every imperfection in the wall! So we looked in the basement and found some leftover paint from my bedroom. (a prettier green) Kim started applying that late tonight and we hope to finish tomorrow. We found a real cute curtain at target that will look great with the paint color! I hope to eventualy get a new shower curtain as well! I'm afraid I will have to wait for Mark to approve me spending another $29! I can't wait to have another room in the house done!

Here is a photo of Malachy's build a bear that we got on the way home from Iowa. It's a dog named "doggy" he roars and moos...Malachy's favorite noises! (Malachy also likes to Baa but they didn't have that noise! ) Doggy is a big Cubs fan and he is very pleased with their win today!


In other news we went to the Animal Shelter yesterday in hopes of finding a puppy for Malachy! But they only had big dogs and pitbulls so we decided to wait.

Who's the favorite....MAMA is!

music thoughts

Some songs just bring out the somber in me....Nights Swimming is one of those songs. It comes on and no matter what mood I'm in I'm transformed to this strange dreamy almost sad almost happy state of mind that I can't explain. I made a "Steph's Reflective" playlist on my I-pod of some of the songs that are in this catagorey. Here is a random 10 from that playlist

1. Night's Swimming- REM
2. Listen to your Heart- DHT Acoustic version
3. The Boy in the Bubble- Paul Simon
4. Dreams to Remember- Ottis Redding
5. The Chain- Fleetwood Mac
6. The Blues- Switchfoot
7. Space Oddity- David Bowie
8. Ring the Bells-James
9. Blue-Jayhawks
10. Father and Son-Cat Stevens

In the past month or so...Noah left, my super friend has been facing challenges, Mommo died, work has been crazy, I have been tired and grumpy...and I have been finding myself in quiet moments going to my I-pod and putting on my "reflective playlist" looking for some peace. I don't know why I expect to find peace in my I-pod...but I do! There is comfort in the music. Maybe because they evoke memories, maybe because they tell stories that distract me from myself, maybe because they tell stories that remind me of myself...I'm not sure. But I'm glad to have my I-pod it feels like a long lost friend.

Crazy day!

So Mark, Malachy, and I are going to Iowa for 5 days! Mark's Mom had knee surgery and thought it would be nice if we came out and helped her around the house while she recovers. She's already well on her way to feeling better. She spent the first week or so at her sisters house and now she is back at home.

In prep for going out of town Kim helped me tackle a mammoth to do list today! We had to buy Malachy something to wear to church in Iowa. The old t-shirt jean combo isn't as acceptable there as is it is at Willow. We picked out a super cute outfit at Target and then had to go return it because it was too big! I gave Malachy a bath and then he peed on my bed during the drying process! We had to pay bills and go to the post office to finally mail Noah his Harry Potter video. Then we went to the Home Depot to get some paint for my bathroom. (Kim may paint it while we are away) We also had to go to Willow so I could finish up some work. We stopped by Michaels to get some Art supplies. WE cleaned the entire house because Mark brought his friend, Andrew, over to see it. We did 2 loads of dish and 4 loads of Laundry! The most impressive is we did all of this with Malachy! Yikes! I think I may pass out! No wonder Kim is looking forward to us leaving! =)

Well tomorrow morning we leave for Iowa and we will be back Wednesday! See ya then!

HAPPY!

These pictures are from several weeks ago but I knew you would all want to see them! They are so fun!

Happy Anniversary

This picture was taken at the anniversery party last year

Today is Mom and Dad's 26th wedding anniversary!! Happy anniversary Mom and Dad! Last year for their 25th we had a little party at the Milk Pail with immediate family and 5 couples who have been good friends to Mom and Dad over the years! It was a great time. Seeing as 2 of those people are no longer with us I'm really glad we took the time to be together, love, and appreciate eachother! Mom and Dad are a beautiful example to us of what LOVE looks like. They have really supported eachother in sickness and health, good and bad, and they have created a family that not only is devoted and loyal to one another but actually really enjoys to be together. Way to go Mom and Dad...Well done.

Here is our family at the party minus one Noah who was at AIT...I think.

This is something Dad wrote on his Blog a couple months ago, and I thought it was really beautiful:

"A couple of years ago I saw a TV show and they had done a survey and announced the most important ingredients in a successful relationship are compatibility and a shared dream. Isn't that precious? Give me courage and kindness every time.It takes courage to decide whether to buy groceries or get the brakes fixed, courage to go to work when you messed up and the boss isn't happy, courage to sign on the bottom line for a mortgage or business loan, courage to go to the doctor when you don't want to hear what he has to say. And always kindness. Because kindness preserves and enhances the dignity of both. Our beloved cannot be what we want them to be without our kindness, to appreciate, to sympathize, to encourage.
So always practice courage and kindness, good luck."

Willow Creek's Promiseland Conf.

So it's over!! I think I worked nearly 50 hours before even hitting my weekend!! Yikes. It was fun though...I can say that now that it is over. I certainly feel like I was stretched as a stage manager. It wasn't so much that anything came up that I didn't know HOW to do so much as I just didn't have the confidence to feel like I could pull it all off as smooth I wanted too. Also, I'm not use to working with the TD who did the conference so I think there were times where we were mis-communicating how a transition was suppose to go. I made a few mistakes but nothing major. I think for how insane the schedule was and how ridiculous a few of the transitions were I did a great job! I'm just glad I won't have to do anything that crazy for another year! =)

Some of you know I wasn't looking forward to Rebecca St. James coming and I have to say I was wrong! The reason for my lack of enthusiasm was that she came to Willow in 97 to participate in Impact's Senior Night. I remember at that time I got the impression she was more "performance" based then authentic. I now feel like that was an un-fair and un-loving judgment. I can't imagine being in her shoes at that age. Maybe she was "performance" based at that time but most teenagers are, regardless of whether or not they are in some sort of spotlight. How is it possible to really know who you are at that age? She was very successful at the time (with the whole "God" song) and I can't imagine the pressure of being that successful at that age. I'm sure it is challenging making your faith your own when you have a whole team of people managing and marketing you.

From the little interaction I had with her at the conference I was really impressed. She was not only professional, kind, and talented but she was also very authentic. I really enjoyed her music too! While she was rehearsing I was thinking how I would like to own her new album and then her father (manager) gave our whole team a copy of her latest album as a thankyou gift! Her entire team was a pleasure to work with and I hope they come back! Matt Redman was also fun. His team is really great as well. He was here earlier this year with Tomlin and I remember then how nice he was.

For your enjoyment...here are some fun "Promiseland" links.
This is a newsletter that Promiseland is doing with Christianity Today
there is a fun article by Kerri. =)
and
This is our new Late Childhood CD where some of our vocalist teach you how to do the motions. (you have to click on the Have You Heard CD and then motions to see a short video...it's fun! So far we only have one up but they will all be up soon)

The previous post is some fun pictures from day one of the conf.